Elevating the Quality of Life After Breast Cancer
By Patricia Kaim
I have learned to live after cancer. I see my body scars wisely. I look at myself in the mirror and I don’t feel pity, I feel that everything I’ve lived has opened the doors to a world I didn’t know. I am not the same person, of course not, I feel more powerful, confident, worthy, I love what I see in the mirror (after a mastectomy) and I love myself more than ever. I have learned to savor life from another perspective, to value more what I have achieved and what I have. I am in perfect and amazing health. I am stronger.
Life does not ask us permission to be strong, it teaches us how to be stronger. Each obstacle becomes an opportunity to gain experience, to test our limits, and to forge a stronger version of ourselves. It's in these unscripted moments that life teaches us invaluable lessons about perseverance, courage, and the capacity to endure.
I walk on the streets and appreciate nature more; the singing of the birds and the tiniest thing attracts my attention more. I am free, nothing ties me up; not even the stress or the daily worries concerned me as they did before. I am not the same person; I gained a lot of experience, confidence, and self-worth. I love enjoying the company of my cat, my friends, and my family, and spending time with myself. I feel deep gratitude for everything I’ve experienced to get to this point, and for sharing my experience with you.
I don’t worry if I don’t have what most people wish for, like a modern car or a huge house, I don’t care, and it is not my top priority now and it has never been my top priority. Many people get attached to a belief that they need to have a particular thing to be happier, to have the most amazing corporate title, and they chase it with absolute determination. However, one day they realize that they get to the top alone and left many things behind. That’s never going to make you happy or successful in life. I appreciate where I am now. If I can’t do something today, it doesn’t matter, I will be able to do it tomorrow or maybe when I can. I appreciate my life; I appreciate my own journey.
I have more time for myself to enjoy, to relax; I recognize and respect my own priorities, I eat healthier, I exercise more, and I focus on both my physical and spiritual wellbeing. Self-care matters. I share with my husband, friends, and others what I’ve learned, all the good things I learned and continue learning every day. When you care for others, you also care for yourself. We cannot serve others well if we do not care for ourselves first.
Having healthy boundaries is essential to respect your own priorities, to take care of yourself better, and to respect your feelings and desires. Say “yes” to your own priorities and values. When you say “no” to other things, you say “yes” to yourself and this is powerful and an act of self-love. When you understand how powerful this key word in this moment is, everything flows better and better, and grows! Take care of yourself because at the end of the day, you are all you’ve got. No one can do better than you, no one can take of yourself better than you. Be kind and gentle with yourself.
I meditate more than before, practice yoga and Reiki, and avoid any excuses to fail my daily routine. I discovered the importance of taking care of my body and mind a while ago. If I have too much work, I plan early in the morning what I should and have to do to be able to meet my goals. My daily walks are amazing and have helped me to connect with myself deeply. Studies show regular exercise improves the quality of life, reduces stress, and the risk of cancer reoccurrence.
Just as I nourish my body with fruits, vegetables, and wholesome meals, I also nurture my spirit with enriching practices like prayer, meditation, and Reiki. I've learned to savor life and manage external fears and worries, embracing a life with fewer concerns and less stress. Surrounding myself with positive, supportive people who encourage my dreams has been essential. Taking responsibility for myself is empowering; it's the path to embracing my true power in life.
Breast cancer has left interest aftereffects in my life, it branded me as a woman, but in a good way. I don’t feel physical effects after so many years, my heart smiles now for learning so much and for helping others. Our inner power is fundamental when we go through critical times. I am convinced that my positive thoughts, my discipline, my faith, and my inner power were essential ingredients during my healing process during and after the treatment. Healing the body and the mind goes hand in hand, one cannot recover without the other. Both are fundamental and connected. It takes time to heal and to find balance after an intense treatment and surgery. Be patient with yourself where you are on your journey.
Reading "Metamorphosis" many years ago deeply impacted me, although I was young at the time. Today, I feel that I have undergone my own metamorphosis. I've experienced a profound transformation, both mentally and spiritually. I never imagined I could endure what I have or fight so fiercely for my life. I've learned to approach life from a perspective of abundance and fullness, finding joy in everything I do, both personally and professionally, with heightened intensity. I have discovered things that add value and joy; keeping my house organized, putting fresh and colorful flowers every week, taking a relaxing warm bath after my walks, going to a reiki session at least twice each month, travelling more often, walking daily in the nature and listening to my favorite music, reading inspiring books, helping and serving others.
When you finish the treatment, you will have to continue with all the care and the activities you have learned and implemented. Finishing your treatment doesn’t mean “test passed”; your positive attitude is fundamental to continue taking care of yourself. Each day will be a step further in this fight. During the next 2 years, you will have to follow up with your primary care clinician every 3 months to monitor your health. Afterwards, you may see them less frequently, depending on your situation. Each step forward is a triumph worth celebrating; you possess the inner strength to overcome any challenges.
It is true that cancer can relapse, but we cannot spend our days thinking about this. You may have a friend living with cancer and his/her stage may be more advanced. You may feel guilty seeing your friend suffering or going through that as you just finished your treatment. You may still experience side effects or additional symptoms which do not go away as soon as the treatment ends. You may ask yourself: what would happen if I experienced this again? I have no true answer to this question. I faced breast cancer twice; I was able to heal, learn, and implement a lot of changes in my life. I selected the best medical team; I self-educated myself to understand my case and to find the best resources. Each experience was unique, different, challenging, difficult, and powerful at the same time. I learned a lot each time about the experience itself and about myself. I was even more patience with myself the second time as I had more experience. Breast cancer was the greatest source of feedback to me; it was definitively my wake-up call to implement the changes I truly needed.
Life is full of good times and some not so good, the minutes pass by, each minute counts. Be positive so you can attract positive things. You need time to heal but with a little patience and support from doctors, friends, and family, you can find a new normal after treatment. Talking with other breast cancer survivors or life coaches can help. It is important to self-educate yourself to improve your quality of life, to manage your fears, to empty your thoughts and feelings. Recovery looks different for everyone.
Don’t allow your fears to prevent you from living. I remember a patient who told me one day that she wasn’t afraid of a recurrence, because if the cancer came back, she would be more experienced, and now she had a great medical team which could help her again. She wasn’t too worried about that; she really wanted to focus on her present. Now, I can tell you that she was right. We need to live in the now; this is so powerful, relevant, and important. We cannot focus on the past or the future. The only time that matters is NOW. If you need additional support or help to deal with stress or other side effects, don’t wait, ask for help. Post cancer stress is real for many people.
“No one has your story but you. There is power in your story.”
By writing this article I have fulfilled one of my greatest desires: sharing my experience, my feelings, with you. I am certain that what we give with love multiplies. I deeply hope that you can also tell your own story and help others. Nobody can describe your story better than you. Share your story to inspire! Enjoy every moment that life offers you. Enjoy every smile, every hug you give and receive. Be more compassionate, thankful for everything you can do and receive. We usually live thinking that life is infinite and it isn’t. We think that there is always time to fulfill our dreams. There are not thousands of tomorrows so enjoy your present, your NOW is important. Make yourself a priority.
The power of our mind is infinite. The Universe conspires in our favor, surround yourself with positive thoughts and ideas and try to minimize negative thoughts. When we do our part, it is easier, the Universe meets us more than half away. One phrase of Henry David Thoreau summarizes what I want to convey: “Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined." I wish you great prosperity, strength, and wisdom to overcome any challenges and to write and share your own story.
